As she lay sickly on the hospital bed, seas of thought flooded her young mind. Strange and scary faces rippled before her uncaring gaze. They were faces she knew; they were faces she once trusted. They were faces she once loved and faces she once looked up to for protection. They were faces of the people who were supposed to be her wings...but now, those faces she feared. They now evoke horror in her young mind and rippled the maltreatment she received in their hands.
No, this was now a nightmare. A nightmare so scary for her young mind. She was scared, scared of those faces. Those faces! She wished she won't have to see them again but somehow, they danced mockingly before her subconscious and have her razing with trauma abandon. It brought the rippling effect of the scary days she witnessed for years. Years of excruciating pain. Of betrayal and hurt by people she looked up to.
In her pain, she bemoaned the brutal loss of her innocence. The pain of the experience of the adult creatures who have forcefully defiled her world and now left her traveling prematurely on a journey of no return. She wished she would ever get well to talk about these monsters. She wished she could ever live well again to grow and be the voice she never heard when she needed it. Her poor parents! If only they were there, it could have been a little better, she knew. But those she had trusted, if the world was not sick enough then, she would have found a good representative in them.
She willed she could overcome this and grow again. She knew it would be a pain with that horrific memory but she still wished to live that she might be a strong voice for future potential victims. She was scared. Scared of even the new faces that now stared at her with care, love and eyes dripping wet from tears as she lay on that hospital bed wondering if she would walk out of there alive. Where were these new faces when the men she trusted were defiling her innocence and making her forcefully thread the part of sexual sodomy from such a tender age. Where were these new caring faces when she cried herself to bed nightly? Where were they when she prayed and willed for miracles? She wanted to know where they were the hundred nights she slept with eyes swimming in hot tears. The world was silent until now...
But on second thought, she didn't even trust the assuring voices of the medics telling her she would live for in her young mind, what she sees ahead promises more peace than the gruesome world she was about to desert. Could death be really bad? To her young self, she didn't know if anything was worse than the world she would be leaving. A world where someone who could have been a worthy representative of an absentee father had chosen to lust over her innocence and tore her way into her holy sanctuary with brutal abandon. The world was silent!
She suddenly didn't want to live again for she couldn't trust herself to feel safe again in that world that deserted her. Her dear parents! The tears that she now shed wasn't for herself but for the fate of the unborn generation and those in seclusion suffering her similar fate. Her tears were partly a mock on the society that pretended to be sane. Her tears were out of pity for the world she was now leaving.
She wouldn't want to belong here anymore but if she must, she would like to come back as a flower. Yes, the beautiful Rose that even her monster father figure and rotten child tended to with utmost care. The beautiful flower that was watered when it was dry and protected when it rained. The care it got, something too big for her to ask from her fellow man. Yes, she would come back as a flower so that then, humanity might finally accept and protect her.
To her, those new faces before her on her death bed that wore a strange look of love and sympathy meant nothing to her because when it mattered, the world was silent. Whatever the world was saying now, the world was silent till she died.
Written by: Enwerem Chukwuka
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